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Kitchen Nightmares Before Christmas / How I Met Your Mummy (Transcript)
MAD News Anchor: We intterupt this program with some Breaking News, The Winner of this Halloween Best Selling Halloween Costume Two Times in a Row is.. Jonah Hill. Jonah Hill: Ahhh! I had Last Year's Model! (Throws Candy Bag on the Floor), Mom you got me the Wrong One! Jonah's Brother: No sweets for me? Thanks. MAD News Anchor: We now return to MAD already Indicated with Monsters. HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH (Poster comes with A Halloween Episode on) A Ye Yabba Boy Yabba AAAAAHHHHHHH! (Sky turns dark), A Ye Yabba Boy Yabba HOOOOO! A Ye Yabba Boy Yabba HOOOWWWWLLLL!, A Ye Yabba Boy Yabba MAD! (Segment begins at the Big Time TV Network Studios) Arthur Smith: OK, Gang! We need something Scary to Air on Halloween! We need another Gordon Ramsay series! (Patricia Llewellyn and Kent Weed agree on the Idea. Not Chef Gordon though....) Chef Gordon Ramsay: Ugh, ANOTHER ONE? Haven't we beaten this to Death already?! Kent Weed: Well, let's see, you're Mean on Mondays and Wensdays, Angry on Tuesdays and Thursdays and Despicable on Fridays and Saturdays. We need something on Sunday-preferbably vicious! Chef Gordon Ramsay: Ugh, but I'm so Tired of it all (Singing) I feel an Emptiness in my Core... Kent Weed: Is he singing? Chef Gordon Ramsay: (Singing) A Twinge until now I have ignored... Patricia Llewellyn: Funny how his Singing Voice Sounds nothing like his Speaking Voice. Chef Gordon Ramsay: (Singing) The Yelling has bought me Fame and Money, but I'd give it all up for some Variety. (Accidentally falls into a Trapdoor Poster) AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Kent Weed: We can afford a Trapdoor Poster? Arthur Smith: We can if this News Show gets picked up Patricia Llewellyn: What show? Chef Gordon Rmasay: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! (Title Card: Kitchen Nightmares Before Christmas) (Gordon Ramsay goes into Halloween Town) What's That Lyrics (Gordon Ramsay): What's THAT?! Tastes like RAT! You call that a Mummy Wrap? It's CRAP! And those makes me Vomit in your Lap! I can't believe you tried to serve this from a VAA-AT! What's THAT?!?! I was tired of the Same Stuff, but along came a Frankenstein! He cooked a Simple Side Dish, butIT TASTE LIKE A BEHIND! These Creatures are disguisting, they Fill me Full of Dread! But mainly for their Cooking, oh because they don't have HEAAAAAAAAADS... What's THAT?! A SNAKE??!! IT'S FALLING OFF A PLATE! I HATE when Rigor Mortis comes to late! And WAIT! The Gralic hasn't sprained 'cause your Faith now that I hate this doesn't MAKE YOU! I feel alive when I critisize these Ugly Creatures with 8 eyes! Have I died?! Chef Gordon Ramsay: "Halloween Town", huh? Even better. (Scene goes to Jack Skellington's House. The Mayor arrives.) Mayor: Jack! Jack! I have some Bad News! There's someone new in Town and he's just as Scary as you! Jack Skellington: What? Not possible! Can he pull his Head off like THIS? Mayor: No. Jack Skellington: Do his Eyes shoot Fire like THIS? Mayor: No. Jack Skellington: Then what makes him so Scary? Mayor: He's... honest Jack Skellington: (GAPS) That IS scary. Better Sneak over and have a Look. Mayor: No Need. It's being Broadcast of Channel 9! (The Mayor turns on Channel 9) Chef Gordon Ramsay: You call this Head "well done"?!?! IT'S STILL BLINKING, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!!! Put it back in the Furnace!! Zombie: Yes, Cheif! Chef Gordon Ramsay: Where's the Eye of Newt?! WHERE'S THE EYE OF NEWT?!?!? Cyclops Bunny: I think we're out! Chef Gordon Ramsay: Oh, you think, you're out , do you ?! THEN USE YOUR OWN GOOFY EYE!!! (Smacks Eye out) Now get out of here you now-Talent-- Werwolf: AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooh, that's harsh! Chef Gordon Ramsay: You call this skin "Flaky"?! WHAT ARE YOU, THE CREEPY DOUGHBOY?!?! Oogie Boogie: Heh-heh-heh-heh. Chef Gordon Ramsay: Oh you find that Funny eh?! Giggle on THIS, Doughboy! (POW!) Come on, Giggle! (POW!) Giggle (POW!), Giggle (POW!), Giggle! (POW!), Giggle (POW!), Giggle-- Imp: He's so Scary! Chef Gordon Ramsay: Hello! BRAINS MUST BE SERVED COLD!!! Jack Skellington: WAIT JUST A MOMENT! (Jack Skellington arrives.) Crowd: Jack! Chef Gordon Ramsay: Great! The Wait Staff is here! (Hands over a Bottle.) Bring this to Table 6! Jack Skellington: Not so fast. So you're the New Kid in Town, huh? Think you can just Spice up your Life by coming on my Turf? Well, I've got one Question for you! What's your career advice? I'm bored outta my Mind down here! Chef Gordon Ramsay: Hmm, let's see. A Scary, Soulless, Ghoul with the Talent of frightening People? I may have just the Thing. (Calls somebody on Phone) Jack Skellington: OK, gang! I'm in charge of TV Programming now, and I say tonight's lineup is gonna be a SCREAM! (Rips Kent Weed and Patricia Llewellyn's Mask as Skeletons) HAHAHAHAHAHAA (Segment Ends) (Mike Wazowski grabs Eyedrops) Red Dog: What are you supposed to be? Dressed Dog: Rick my Owner. Red Dog: Ohhohohohoho, Rick... Nice (Put on Star Shaped Glasses), Nice! (Segment Ends) Betty: Dear, Grim Reaper, my Grandma got me the Same Brthday Present Two Times in a Row, should Ijust leave it or keep it?, Sincerely Yours, Betty Grim Reaper: Dear Betty, you will die at Sea. (Segment Ends) Scream90X Announcer: This Halloween is your Biggest Fear is that you won't fit into your Costume? Boy: HeHe, It must of shrunk in the Wash! Scream90X: Announcer then you need...... SCREAM90X! Boy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Scream90X Announcer: The Exercise Plan, that will hack those Pounds just in Time for Halloween! Boy: Hew!, Just a Commercial! Scream90X Announcer: Disc 1.... CARDIO! BOY: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Scream90X Announcer: Keep those Legs moving and Disc 2.... (Count Dracula pokes out) BOY: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Scream90X Announcer: Abs! Count Drcaula: OOOHHH! Feel that burn! Scream90X Announcer: and Disc 3... Zombie: ROOOAARR!!! Boy: AAAAHHHH! Scream90X Announcer: Upper Body! Zombie: Run Boy: AAAAHHH! Scream90X Announcer: So if you can exercise anything this Halloween? (Boy falls and Female Zombie tries to twist her Body) Scream90X Announcer: Let it be your Body, with the Scream90X Exercise Plan!!! Girl: I am so scared also I lost like 45 pounds! (segment ends) Bobby Wallace: Trick or Treat! Woman: Oh, look at you you're a Scary Skeleton! (Shaggy jumps on him) Fred: I got him! Shaggy: Like great work Fred! Daphne: You captured the Sidewalk Skeleton! Fred: But he's not really a Skeleton at all! He's really.... All: Little Bobby Wallace!!!!!!!!!!!!! Velma: Looks like Little Bobby was scaring People into giving him Candy by dressing up as a Skeleton. Woman: Of Course he was it's Halloween, you can't just..... Fred: (Drops Bobby Wallace) Look gang!.... It's the Lawn Witch (Scene goes to Mary Williams) Fred: Get her! Mary Williams: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Velma: Nice try evil Withc, or should I say..... All: Mary Williams from the Old Williams House? Mary Willimas: (sobs) I just wanted to Trick or Treat!!!!! Shaggy: Look it's the Grim Reaper! Scooby Doo: Let's get him! (Scene goes to Title Card) The Scooby Doo Gang Announcer: The Scooby Doo Gang, Ruining Halloween Since 1969! (Segment ends) Keeper of the Crisper: This Halloween prepare to be frightened with..... HAHAHAHAHAHA! VeggieTales from the Crypt Title Card: VeggieTales from the Crypt Keeper of the Crisper: HAHAHAHAHAHA!, Join me the Keeper of the Crisper for some Rotten and Juicy Tales of Morality, like this One! AAAHH! Eggplant: HAHA!, You're so short your just a Baby! Baby Carrot: It's not nice to be a Bully! Eggplant: Oh Yeah, why not? Baby Carrot: Becuase Baby Carrots bought to be.... (Baby Carrot's Dad stomps) Baby Carrot's Dad: MONSTER CARROTS! Eggplant: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keeper of the Crisper: HAHAHAHAHAHA! There's a Healthy Serving of Justice and there will be plenty more Goulish Stories on this Week's Episode of... Man: AAUGH! How long has this been in here? Keeper of the Crisper: No wait I got a show with everything! Category:Transcripts